Sexual assault is an act of physical, psychological and emotional violation, in the form of a sexual act, which is inflicted on someone without consent. It can involve forcing or manipulating someone to witness or participate in any sexual acts.

Rape is penetration (however slight) of the mouth, anus or vagina with an object or the penis without consent.

Not all rapes and not all sexual assaults are necessarily physically violent. Nevertheless, any act of sexual violence can affect someone’s life very deeply. In most cases, the person who was raped will be either emotionally manipulated, or threatened not to tell. Sexual violence is a vastly underreported crime. If you have been raped or assaulted, you deserve support.

Examples of sexual assault are:

• Being made to look at pornography
• Being touched in a sexual way. This can involve touching of breasts or genital areas.
• Being verbally assaulted, with inappropriate comments of a sexual nature.
• Attempted rape, as in attempted oral, anal or vaginal penetration

Medical considerations following a sexual assault

Medical care can be vital after an assault or rape.

Someone who has been assaulted may need immediate medical attention by a GP or casualty department, even if no symptoms or issues are obvious.

• You might have physical symptoms such as cuts, infections, bruises etc. in affected areas.
• You need to check for sexually transmitted diseases
• You need to have a pregnancy test six weeks after your last period.
• You might choose to take the morning after pill to avoid pregnancy. You can take the MAP within 72 hours of the rape.

If you call the Gardai, they will bring you to the Sexual Assault Treatment Unit (SATU), where this vital medical care will be provided. You can also self-refer to the SATU. The number for the SATU is 091 765751.

Availing of the services of the SATU or Gardai does not oblige you to report the rape. Gardai will take a basic statement, but you will have the right to decide later whether or not to go ahead with this. Clients will also receive emotional support and advocacy from a GRCC Psychological Support Worker whilst attending at the Unit. For more information

Post Assault Emotional Responses

Sexual assault and rape can be very upsetting and disturbing. For the first few weeks to months after the assault you might find it impossible to sleep for example or eating may be a problem. You might not be able to concentrate and may experience flashbacks of the attack. You can feel numb, may not believe what happened to you, or may feel extreme anxiety, fear and disorientation.

You may find it difficult to trust people, even the closest people around you, after an attack. It may have an impact on your self-esteem. Your sexuality can also be affected. In short, all areas of your life can be turned upside down.

These are normal reactions to trauma.

It is crucial to bear in mind that what happened to you was not your fault.

If you have been raped or assaulted, you deserve support. If you would like to talk to a counsellor at the GRCC, call 1800 355 355.

We are here to support you.

There are women and men everywhere who were sexually abused as children or teenagers. The SAVI report commissioned by Dublin RCC in 2002 found that one in four women, and one in six men had experiences of some form of sexual assault before the age of eighteen.

Abusers may be strangers, but much more often they are fathers, brothers, stepfathers, and grandfathers or trusted family friends. Women can also be perpetrators. Sometimes children are abused by young people of the same sex or age. Some are abused in groups, in residential settings, in sex rings or rituals.

What is child sexual abuse?

Child sexual abuse means forcing or manipulating a child to take part in sexual activity, which for a child is always inappropriate. This can take many forms:

• Being made to look at pornography
• Being made to watch sexual acts
• Being watched in a sexual way
• Being touched in a sexual way
• Being made to masturbate or to masturbate the abuser
• Being raped. This involves penetration of mouth, anus or vagina by any object, by a finger or penis
• There are many more acts that are performed as part of sexual abuse

Child Sexual Abuse is often not physically violent, i.e. physically painful, but it is psychologically violent.

The sexual abuse of a child may be something that happens once or every day for many years. Sometimes abuse is remembered in vivid details; sometimes a person will only have vague feelings that ‘something happened’, and others may have ‘forgotten’ for many years and only as adults find memories coming to the surface of their minds.

Keeping silent

Many people who were abused as children keep silent about what has happened to them. They are often too afraid to tell someone at the time. The abuser may have threatened them not to tell or they may tell someone who does not believe them. The abuser may have blamed the survivor, saying that the abuse has happened because the survivor is bad or different, or because they wanted it to happen, and that people would reject or punish the person if they knew about it. As adults, it may still be difficult to trust anyone enough to tell them the full story. Feelings of guilt and shame, terror, depression, fear of being overwhelmed by painful memories that bring it all back and feelings of self-disgust can all prevent people from sharing their pain.

Pain and trauma can continue after the abuse ends

A child cannot be sexually abused without being also emotionally, psychologically and spiritually abused. The abuse can produce profound and long lasting effects on all these levels, but remember that it is possible to recover from these over time.

Many people feel they just want to forget the past, but often find they cannot. Others feel they should be ‘over it’ by now and this internal pressure may be reinforced through responses by people who are trying to be helpful but do not really understand. The survivor may have nightmares or flashbacks that he or she needs to share with someone who understands.

Some adult survivors of sexual abuse lack confidence. They dislike themselves or blame themselves, or mistreat themselves by starving, over-eating or drinking a lot to block out the pain. They may find it hard to trust people or have relationships that help them to feel good. They may feel that they are over-protective of their children. They may feel that they do not deserve to be loved or happy and sex may be a problem because it triggers off memories of abuse or because they feel under so much pressure to prove ‘normal’. For more information on the effects of sexual violence, please see ‘effects of trauma’

Too much to cope with alone

Survivors often contact Rape Crisis Services for support when they find the memories of abuse are too much to cope with alone. Sometimes reports of sexual abuse in the media bring back memories, or memories can be triggered by changes in their lives such as a new relationship, having a baby. If you’ve experienced abuse as a child, you are not alone. GRCC is  here to support you.

You have the right to support

If you are a survivor of sexual abuse, only you can decide if the time is right for you to talk to somebody. There is no magic formula to make you feel better, to take away the fear or other difficult feelings, or to make you forget, but we do believe that talking helps.

It may be months or years before you feel the hard work of thinking, talking and understanding begins to get you towards where you want to be. But here at the centre we have seen a lot of other survivors who have been this way before you and we know it is possible to come out the other end transformed and much stronger than ever before.

‘Drug rape’ has become a word frequently mentioned by the media. Still, there are a lot of myths around it some of which we hope to break by presenting the following information.

Drug rape is a real concern for both men and women. It is important to be aware of the dangers out there. Also, you might know someone who this happened to, or who thinks this happened to them, but they don’t have clear memories. The information presented here might help to clarify this.

What is drug rape?

Since the mid nineties GRCC have had regular reports of clients who were raped or assaulted where the attacks involved being administered drugs without their knowledge. The most well-known drug is called  Rohypnol, or “roofies.”There are an ever-growing number of drugs, which all have different legal status, and are often widely available, and are used by rapists to incapacitate their targets. A lot of the drugs used in these instances are ‘hypnotics’ which means they have an anaesthetising and muscle relaxant effect.

What should I know about drug rape?

Going by the reports we have had at our centre, drug rape is not only something to watch out for when you go clubbing. It happens in pubs, too. The Roofie Foundation has even had reports of people being spiked in non-alcoholic drinks or in food. Always be aware of the danger that, wherever you are, someone may try to spike your drink.

If you are raped after being drugged, it is not your fault.

However, the Roofie Foundation offers the following advice to make it more difficult for a potential perpetrator of drug rape:

• Never ever leave a drink unattended. If you go to the loo take your drink with you. If for whatever reason you have left it unattended do not drink it.
• If a stranger offers you a drink do not accept it. Even if work mates or acquaintances offer you a drink make sure you see it either poured or opened and ensure that no one touches it prior to you drinking it.
• If a group of you go out together help to make yourself safe by nominating a person who will not be drinking (i.e. the designated driver), to keep an eye on the group’s drinks.
• Remember these drugs are tasteless, odourless, and although one (Rohypnol) has a blue dye added to it, this blue dye does not show up for almost 20 minutes. Also it does not show up in red wine, in cola or any other dark drinks. It cannot be seen in a coloured bottle (i.e. in a bottle of Beck’s, Budweiser, or wine bottles).
• Wherever possible try to drink out of a bottle or can. It is much more difficult to spike a bottle or can than it is a to drop a drug into a drink in an open glass.
• Just because you’re not drinking alcohol doesn’t make you safe. The Roofie Foundation have had reports of people being spiked in tea, coffee, milk, milk shakes, and cola.
• Spread this information among friends, in your college or workplace. Tell people that drug rape happens and is a real concern for both women and men. Awareness will make us safer.

How can I tell if I have been drugged?

Bear in mind your own personal tolerance to alcohol. If you feel odd, nauseous, or very drunk after only a couple of drinks, and you know that you shouldn’t be, there is a chance that your drink has been spiked. If so, go immediately to a place of safety. If you are with a friend who you trust implicitly tell them of your worries; get them to get you out of the place as soon as possible and to get you home either in their car or by cab. Once safely home ask them to stay with you until the effects of the drug have worn off.

If you see a friend acting strangely, being unusually drunk, dizzy, possibly exposing themselves, or generally acting out of character, there is a chance that their drink was spiked. Take care of them, bring them to a place of safety and stay with them.

However be very sure that you implicitly trust the person or friend you are asking. Many survivors have been raped by people they know, in some cases work mates and colleagues, in some cases friends of friends or acquaintances, and in many cases the date that they went out with that night.

If you are alone or with a stranger go to the landlord or manager and tell them. It is important to get to a place of safety as soon as possible, get the landlord to put you in his or her private accommodation or an office whilst they ring a taxi or a friend, or your parents to get you home safely. If possible always make sure that a trusted friend accompanies you.

The Roofie Foundation have had many reports of victims being brought back to their own home by their attacker and raped in their own beds. If you think you’ve been drugged and raped get support from a local Rape Crisis Centre or similar service. Remember, these drugs can take away your memory. If you wake up in a strange place or even if you wake up in your own bed but there are unusual signs of someone else having been around, and you don’t remember how you got home, even though you didn’t have that much to drink, if you have any physical evidence on your body, if your genital area is sore, or you have bruising, you could have been raped.

I may have been drugged and raped… what should I do?

Don’t wash or shower. We recommend you call Gardai immediately who will bring you to the Galway SATU unit (if you are locally based) where your medical needs will be taken care of, and forensic evidence will be gathered in case you later wish to report this.  The number to set up a SATU appointment in Galway is 091 765751.

If you do not want to call the Gardai, you can self-refer to a clinic. A volunteer from GRCC will be there to offer you emotional and advocacy support. We recommend you insist that doctors at the SATU unit take a urine and blood sample to show the presence of any of the drugs used in drug rape (there are about 6 or 7 different ones). It could prove to be vital forensic evidence. This can only be done within 72 hours. For more information on SATU service click here

Memories may come back, for example in the form of flashbacks or nightmares, weeks, months, or years later. Make sure you visit your doctor or an STD clinic (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Never forget the risk of HIV/ Aids. Have any physical injuries checked. It is important to get across that, in some cases, the traces of the drug in the body disappear before the memory of the event comes back. Many different times have been given for the drug passing through the body. Some say 5-8 hours, others 8-12 hours. Evidence in Britain seems to point to that fact that forensic traces of these rape drugs can only be picked up within 48 hours. However American forensic tests can pick up traces of the drug after 72 hours, but their police seem to be using different tests, they are also better equipped and are much more aware of the problem.

For emotional support in the long run, contact your local RCC or similar service. Rape Crisis Centres are aware of the existence of drug rape and your story will not be judged.

The following information about sexual harassment has been taken from the Irish Statute Book, produced by the Office of the Attorney General, describing the Employment Equality Act 1998 (Code of Practice) (Harassment) Order 2012.

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is any type of unwanted sexual behavior. It can be verbal, non-verbal or physical behavior. It can happen to people of any gender or sexual identity. Sexual harassment can violate a person’s dignity and create an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for the person or workplace. It is prohibited by the Irish Statute’s Employment Equality Act 1998.

Unwanted conduct can include verbal speech, suggestive or lewd gestures, or written words, photographs, drawings or other material. This includes offensive gestures or facial expressions, unwelcome and offensive calendars, screen-savers, e-mails and any other offensive material.

What does sexual harassment do? What’s the harm of a little fun?

Sexual harassment harms the working environment and can have a devastating effect on the overall happiness, health, confidence, attitude and performance of who are impacted.

The anxiety and stress produced by sexual harassment can cause those subjected to it to take time off work due to sickness and stress, or to avoid the harassment. This can also have impacts on the lives of those being harassed.

Sexual harassment may also have a damaging impact on employees who witness unwanted behaviour, or have knowledge of the harassment.

What are the types of sexual harassment?

There are a few different types of sexual harassment, although one experience or action could fall into multiple categories.

• Physical conduct of a sexual nature —Unwanted physical contact such as unnecessary touching, patting or pinching or brushing against another person’s body. It can also include assault and coercive sexual intercourse, which are also considered sexual assault or rape.
• Verbal conduct of a sexual nature —Unwelcome sexual advances, propositions or pressure for sexual activity. This could also include persistent suggestions for social activity outside the workplace after it has been made clear that such suggestions are unwelcome (i.e. continually being asked for a pint despite multiple refusals), unwanted or offensive flirtations, suggestive remarks, innuendos or lewd comments.
• Non-verbal conduct of a sexual nature — For example, the display of pornographic or sexually suggestive photographs or drawings, objects, written materials, emails, or text messages. This type of harassment can also include leering, whistling or making sexually suggestive gestures.
• Gender-based conduct — Conduct that denigrates, ridicules, is intimidatory or physically abusive of an employee because of their gender identification. Examples of gender-based sexual harassment include derogatory or degrading abuse or insults which are gender-related, such as making negative jokes about women.

Is what happened to me sexual harassment? What are some examples of sexual harassment?

Many forms of behaviour, including spoken words, gestures or the display/circulation of words, pictures or other material, may constitute harassment. Sexual harassment does not have to occur many times: a single incident may be considered harassment.

These examples are illustrative, but not comprehensive to what sexual harassment may include:

• Verbal harassment – jokes, comments, ridicule or suggestive songs
• Written harassment – including memos, text messages, emails or other forms
• Physical harassment – touching, jostling, shoving or any form of assault
• Intimidatory harassment – gestures, posturing or threatening poses

Visual displays such as posters, emblems or badges

Excessive monitoring of work motivated with intention to harass based on gender or sexuality

Exclusion from social activities motivated with intention to harass based on gender or sexuality

Unreasonably changing a person’s job content or targets motivated with intention to harass based on gender or sexuality

Pressure to behave in a manner that the employee is uncomfortable with, such as being asked to dress in a manner in conflict with a person’s ethnic or religious background.

Is all sexual behavior harassment? What is okay? What counts as “unwelcome” behavior?

The Employment Equality Act does not prohibit all relations of a sexual or social nature in the workplace (although a workplace may have a separate policy prohibiting such behavior). To constitute sexual harassment the behaviour must be unwelcome. It is the unwanted nature of the conduct which distinguishes sexual harassment from consensual behavior.

It is up to each person to decide what behaviour is unwelcome, despite what others may think about the situation. It is also important to consider from whom such behaviour is welcome or unwelcome, irrespective of what others may think. For example, it is okay for one peer to flirt with you at work, but not another? If the person is made aware that their flirtation is undesired, they must stop and cannot use flirting with others as an excuse.

If someone has previously enjoyed or welcomed sexual behavior, it absolutely is within that person’s right to later decide that it has become unwelcome.

I don’t think they meant to sexually harass anyone. They don’t know what they’re doing. Does that matter?

The intention of the perpetrator of the sexual harassment is irrelevant: it is our own responsibility to ensure that we are not acting inappropriately with others and to be aware of what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate conduct. The fact that the perpetrator has no intention of sexually harassing or harassing the employee is no defence. The effect of the behaviour on the employee is what is important.

The Employment Equality Act protects employees from sexual harassment and harassment by:

• the employer
• fellow employees
• clients
• customers
• other business contacts, including anyone whom the employer might expect the employee to come into contact in the workplace.

If someone you know has told you that they were abused it is because they trust you and they sense that you care for them. Safe, non-abusive relationships are survivors’ most precious resources. You are very important in this process.

One of the most important things you can do for your friend/ partner/family member is to listen to them and believe what they are telling you. Another very important thing for you to do is to make sure that you are looking after yourself. Recovering from abuse can take a long time, so you will need to pace yourself. If you can be consistent and be there for them over a long time, it is better than sitting up all night for a week.

Often people are nervous and afraid to say ‘the wrong thing’ because they don’t know enough about sexual violence. Sexual violence is not a ‘rare disease’ and you don’t need to be an expert to help. If you are prepared to listen, the person will be able to guide you as to the help they need.

Believe them

Survivors are often very afraid of people not believing them or reacting negatively to what they say or rejecting them for what has happened to them. Believe what they say, do not ask ‘Why didn’t you tell someone?’ or ‘Why didn’t you scream?’. Try to keep calm and if you don’t understand why a survivor is reacting in a particular way or why she behaved as she did, remember that that is your problem and not hers. Try not to ask too many questions.

It may be helpful to read about the issues involved, using this website as a starting point. This can help to answer many of your questions.

Do not treat them differently

When someone you care about tells you about their experience of sexual violence or abuse it is common to feel anxious and overwhelmed. It is a compliment to your relationship that the person has told you but don’t be sworn to secrecy – you may need to talk to other people, although this should only be done with care and in confidence.

Do not treat the person differently because of what she or he has told you, they have not changed in the telling. Be clear and honest about what support you can offer them and what you feel you are able to hear. At the same time show your commitment to helping your friend, there are other resources available to them that they may need. When she or he is ready to take the step, they can get support from a local rape crisis centre, similar service, or from a private counsellor/ therapist.

Give practical support

Often practical help can be useful: when someone is shocked and grieving over what has happened to them, or over what they have just remembered, they may not be able to look after themselves at times. The anger, loss and pain can feel overwhelming. If you are supporting someone at such a time stay calm and kind; hot drinks and food, vitamins and a hand to hold are all you need to provide.

Survivors have had their bodies and minds invaded and may have long term difficulties with sleeping, eating, bathing and relaxing. Helping to gradually normalise these activities as part of daily life can add a lot to survivors’ security and self respect.

Build trust

When trust has been abused, the safest thing to do might seem to never trust anyone again. Whilst this might have helped them survive, later on survivors may want to work on building trust.

Think of trust not as something which has to be given, but rather something which has to be earned. Find ways to show your loved one that you are trustworthy – worthy of their trust. Disclosing sexual assault to you is a demonstration of a level of trust in you. From there, your willingness to develop an ability to support her or him will be your contribution. Enabling a survivor to begin believing in the possibility of trust is an amazing way to support your loved one.

Acknowledge your feelings

You may find you are feeling all sorts of things about what the survivor has told you. You may feel helpless, confused, or shocked. You might struggle to understand what occurred, and how the survivor is coping. This is normal, as you are managing what has hurt someone you love.

If this is the case, you may need to talk to somebody about what you are feeling. Don’t expect the survivor to be able to listen to you, as they are coping themselves and questions can be painful. There are people you can talk to.

Contact a friend or a Rape Crisis Centre, or find a counsellor for support for yourself.

Ensure that survivors make their own decisions

It is very important that you let the survivor make their own choices about what they do next. Abuse and rape can leave us feeling powerless and out of control, and survivors need to feel they can be in charge of their lives again.

This means letting the survivor decide whether they want to go for counselling, whether they want to confront the abuser, or report to the Gardai.

You can certainly find out information and locate resources for them, but let them make up their own mind about what they are going to do… even if you disagree or can’t understand why.

Allow space for their feelings

Some survivors may harm themselves in a variety of ways. Some survivors take out their anger about the abuse/ rape on the people they love most, as they are a space location for the expression of hard feelings.

Its okay to object – it’s okay to draw your boundaries: you don’t have to accept that this is an inevitable result of abuse.

Try to understand why your friend/ partner is doing these things and spend time with them working out other ways of dealing with feelings.

Intimacy and sex

Experiences of sexual violence can affect intimacy, be that very close friendships or sexual relationships. Memories of terror and pain may pour out in response to the most gentle touch.

If your partner has been raped or sexually abused they may not want to sleep with you or even have you physically close.

Respect their wishes and tell them that you will not pressurise them, but rather you will assume sex is off the agenda until they say otherwise.

For some survivors, childhood abuse blurred the line between sex and affection and this can affect friendships as much as sexual relationships. Discuss this with your partner/ friend and negotiate what kinds of touch are welcome.

It is very important that survivors feel that they can take charge again in this way and for partners to respect the survivors’ needs, whether it’s just to be held or not be touched at all for a long time. There are lots of ways to show affection and have fun, but the most important is probably talking and listening.